Faith

Give God your faith and he will give you the victory. (healing, finance, substance)
Just trust God!

Bishop Charles Henry Taliefero

As I Remember

I was hired that day as a musician for the Pastor's Choir. I also watched and gave heed as he spoke that day.

I wondered to myself, who is this old blind man talking about faith? He said by faith, he was able to drive to the store and back home.

He couldn't have too much faith, he couldn't see...

He spoke in a pastoral cadence which was much a more deliberate and slower cadence, wanting everyone to hear his words clearly. He certainly had great command of the English language, as his word choices demonstrated. His gravelly voice caused me to focus more on the things he was saying. He was not faking his way through as one trying to impress the crowd. He actually knew what he was saying and he knew how to say it.

He was dressed in dark colors. His clothes were heavily starched and pressed. He wore a white shirt and colorful tie. His black wing tip shoes were shined to perfection. He wore a diamond studded tie clamp. In his presence you could smell his spicy cologne. My first impression was not that be had a lot of money, but that he was serious about being a gospel preacher. He wanted his words to touch the hearts of the people. He wanted his life to count for God. The evil days

(Days of ill health) of old age was upon him and one of the only pleasures he enjoyed was preaching.

As he continued, I was somewhat captured. As a person in my early twenties, he sounded like the orators of yesteryear. Looking back on it as an older man, I appreciate preachers who know what they are talking about, and are very passionate about it also.

As time went on I became a member of the Emmanuel Temple church. I traveled extensively as a musician for the Pastor's Choir. I began sitting in his bible classes and found out as I suspected he was an avid reader who read everything. His library was full of books he read. There were at least 500 books of which he could quote verbatim from any of them.

His mantra seems to me at that time, was in the form of a question, what do you really know?

He searched diligently to find answers to all of his questions and the questions others posed.

Always reaching to learn something new, his quest for life was to speak as one with a learned tongue. Was he perfect? He was perfect at being who he was. He couldn't be everything to everyone. He was just a man trying to take in all the he could. Most people are looking for a pie in the sky and they never grow into the fullness of what God desires for them.

As time moved on I discovered many things about him, some I liked and some I disfavored. At the same time through his entire serious disposition, of which I eventually broke through like breaking through an ice door, I discovered a gentle man who share some of the beliefs that I had and I his. We had some common ground. He did not believe in some of the things people attributed to him, or that he had as a young pastor. You learn over time those things that are traditional and those things that are truth.

For many years I sat under his ministry and tutelage. I learned so many things that as a minister I was never exposed to under others. In his bible classes he taught homiletics, apologetics, bible study methods and church history. He wanted to make sure the people would be well rounded.

One day he decided to make me an assistant to one of his churches. It was not an assignment I cared for. I was happy just being who I was and where I was.

The people received me causally, some warmly and some not at all. I was sent in his stead. The Spirit of God moved and every Sunday someone was getting saved. The people who received me coldly said, that ain't just your preaching that getting these people saved. What would you do if no one invited anyone? I knew it was people responding to the word of God in faith. Come to find out later these same people had a takeover agenda.

One Wednesday night Bishop sent me there to teach. One of these persons came and told me you can't teach tonight because all things are null and void because Bishop Taliefero died today and we are going to have a special meeting and you are not invited. You have to leave now or we will have the men physically remove you. I was not afraid but angry.

I had nothing to do but to turn around and walk away.

At the funeral we were given select slices of his life was and times.

I will always remember who he was whether in front of people of behind closed doors. He had a zest for learning new things and his always wanting to know the power of God demonstrated in his life.

He was the pastor of my young adult life.

The Old Sycamore Tree (How To Live And Not Die) Part 2

Explanation of the Sycamore Tree

In the Bible, the Sycamore is considered a symbol of strength, divinity, and eternity.

The strength of any tree is determined in the way that it holds up in weather and how resistant it is to disease.

You can find Sycamore trees by a steam of water, although they grow in other places, and like the bible says,

Psalms 1:3

And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.

Jeremiah 17:3

For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit.

There was a lyric from a Rap song that says "Everybody dies, but not everybody lives". When I first heard it, I was really taken a back at the message it gave. It described me and many people I know. We can die, not knowing the extent of why we were created. What things were only possible through us alone? Just as each individual has their own finger prints, signature, personality and talents, each person has their own set purpose here on earth. No one else has the right to make decisions about the path we take. It has been determined by God. In fact those in authority must have the wisdom to guide not determine on the basis of one with gifts in certain areas. That responsibility lies solely on us follow it.

We spend a lot of time looking at the things others have and not paying attention to the things God has given us. He has given us these gifts to survive, prosper, and profit from them.

No one can tell the old sycamore why it was created. It knows its purpose and its destiny. It reaches high in the sky to connect to the only thing greater than itself. It surrenders its all only to God to reach up. The tree reaches up to its creator as a child reaches up to its parents to be cared for and protected. As it reaches up, the sunshine and the rain gives it nourishment and strength. Its leaves replenish the earth's oxygen supply. It also reaches down in the earth. It roots reach deep into the earth to perhaps find a rock to anchor itself. The roots go deep and wide.

Our relationship to Christ Jesus is described as a tree. The bible says, he is the vine and we are the branches.

The life of the earth is described through the trees God created to cover the earth.

For Adam and Eve, God planted a garden and put two trees in the midst of all the other trees and plant life, a tree of life and a tree of the knowledge and evil. God put a river that ran out of the garden (the first irrigation). Man would have done well eating of the tree of life. Satan described as the Serpent was there to change mans destiny, even as he lies in wait to change ours. Do not be deceived by the tempter to change your destiny.

No matter how old you are, you have to get back on track.. The only way for us to live and not die is to follow the course that God has set for us.

The sycamore connects to God above and to earth below and lives its happy destiny. God who is purpose and earth which is purpose manifested.

Thanks for the counseling, Nancy!

The Old Sycamore Tree (How To Live And Not Die)

The old sycamore tree stood in its place unmoved by the great storm.
It reached into the heavens and declared "I trust you God".

During the storm the old tree rocked back and forth , bending not breaking,
It reached in the ground just as high as it reached up to do its part.

It held on to a large rock and wrapped it roots without relent, knowing that it stood secure.

I have been here many years holding on and never letting go.
I have seen and heard many things.Yet in this place I endure.

When the storm was ended and everything came back to calm.
"Thank you Lord for another time you have kept me safe".

"I give you the honor, and you are so worthy to be praised".
"I will agian lift my branches and give you unselfesh praise".

 

 

 

 

 

  I  was created for praise!!!

From Terror To Jesus Part 2

Liam Doyle Smyth arrived at the Statesville Prison Facility sentenced to serve twenty years for the crime he committed against the church. Liam was about twenty four years old and was not afraid, because he had seen the inside of many penal institutions long before he arrived at this one. He knew we would be challenged as a man. He knew the inmates would try him as many were possible to see what type of man he was. He was not an Muslim. He was not associated with any of the gangs anymore. He would tell all that he was a born again Christian, as he had seen others do. This wouldn't stop the challenges, but most would respect him for his stand. He also knew he would be watched because of it.

After being processed and moved in, he shared a cell with Ernest Wayne Johns a thirty year old businessman. Ernest was not a dealer, he owned several warehouses and was caught up on a drug bust that implicated him in on the crime. He claims he knew nothing about drugs being in any of the six warehouses. Ernest wasn't particularly religious, but grew up in a very religious home, where he and his siblings were forced to go to church. He vowed at an early age, he would not go to church after he left home. It wasn't that he didn't believe in God. He didn't believe that a child should be forced into something they did not want to be forced into.

From the first day Liam and Ernest formed a great bond. They were like brothers.

Liam began telling his story to Ernest of how he went from terror to Jesus. At the end of his story he told Ernest how happy that things turned out the way they did. He is here in prison, but his mind is finally free. Ernest began calling Liam, Bird. Liam began calling Ernest, Ern.

The thing that gets me is that preacher was not afraid of us coming in to kill him. He acted as if; his life means anything to him. He looked at us like he was looking through us. How was this so, seeing we had the guns turned on him?

Eyebrows raised and head tilted, Liam looking at Ernest as if to say, I know you are not going to believe that next part.

Every round we fired got stuck in the air.

STUCK IN THE AIR!

I wanted to run out of there. My legs felt like a million pounds of lead. I couldn't move. Our leader Eric could not move either. We fired so many clips of rounds. With all three automatic weapon no more than twenty feet from the pastor, at least seven other automatic weapons there had to be at least 500 rounds stuck in the air.

He invited all of us to the front and my legs that wouldn't move carried me to the front of the altar. When we got there, he yelled something that knocked us all unconscious for a moment. When I came to, I was speaking in a different language that I didn't understand. He preached to us about our lives and how they would now change. He looked at us and addressed each one of us individually and told us things about ourselves that no one knew, but us. I cried the whole time in front of my friends. Some of them cried. We before that time would never let another see us cry.

Pastor Mitch started coming to see as many of us that would let him. I let him talk. I knew there was a change in me. I didn't know how far it would go. He gave be a bible that had highlighted passages. I began to read about this man called Jesus. I asked him to come into my life and forgive me of all the wrong things I committed against him. I begin speaking in that language I didn't understand. When Pastor Mitch came around I asked him what was happening to me. He told me that God was sealing me and preparing me for his work. He told me not all conversions take place this way. God was doing a special work in my life. I am now here as you see me. At the trial Pastor Mitch stood with Eric and me. He never said anything about what we tried to do to him. I looked at him and fell to my knees. Eric did the same thing. Pastor Mitch, please forgive us for trying to kill you. Forgive us for trying to take your life. Forgive us. Pastor Mitch grabbed both of us by the arms and lifted us up and said, I forgave you long ago.

From Terror to Jesus Part 1

 
The three terrorist stood waiting for the moment to arrive. They prepared for this moment. It was five months in planning. They only had five minutes for execution. Every operative must be as an eye of a camera. Nothing can go wrong. Execution must be perfect. They had the support of a ten person team that stood in the background.

 

Eric asked himself, what was different about this time? Why was killing this pastor and staff different. Everything was too perfect. Conditions for every mission are different. Strangely, the conditions seemed too perfect.

 The plan is, they would storm in the church execute the pastor and those staff members that were outspoken against their religion. They were converting more citizens every day. Eric stood as something deep inside was telling him something was not right. Liam who was soft spoken and walked with a limp said nothing and Wister who was an experience soldier stood ready.

"I can't get this feeling out of my head. This is too perfect and perfect conditions are very rare". Everything is lined up. We have less than five minutes before we strike. We are the Pythons and we live for the strike. We are trained for adverse conditions. We live to improvise and improvise to live. We are not going to terminate this mission because things are too perfect. I just can't shake this strange feeling.

He texted his look out operative the text @$××€ which is the code for are things good from where you stand. He then received the text 123 which is the code for all is well.

The target was a Pentecostal church with about 300 members. There Pastor Mitch Pesche was from New York a no non sense pastor who believed in the miraculous power of God to deliver his people from the power of the "Evil One". The church now represented 50 nations of different ethnicities.

Pastor Mitch was now in the flow of the spirit, said to the congregation, "today we will be tested for our faith in God". "This is the day I spoke of in prophecy six months ago". "No matter what happens, keep your focus on the power of Jesus Christ".

Eric stood ready. Go..., he commanded.

The three men started running toward the doors of the church.

The inside operative cut off the security cameras and killed all the security alarms. He gathered all three security officers by gun point and handcuffed them to each other and moved toward the main auditorium.

Suddenly there was a loud boom at the main auditorium doors. The three men charged in while several men came forth out of the auditorium seats. Some of the members began screaming.

Pastor Mitch seemed unmoved by the chaos. He raised his hand and said "peace". The congregation grew still.

Eric shouted out, "You are a dead man". Pastor Mitch said, "More than you know". Eric and the other men began firing their weapons upon the pastor. Everyone saw the rounds come out of the automatic weapons and freeze in mid-air. To the amazement of the dozen terrorist, they thought to themselves this cannot be happening.

There must have been hundreds of rounds suspended in the air. Some people said they saw angels. Some began to speak in tongues.

Pastor Mitch said, "Silence".

The terrorist now were unable to move had terror in their eyes. Liam looked at Eric and Wister in horror. Wister who never said much said, "There is a God".

Pastor Mitch said “Now unto him that is able we give you the glory"! Eleven out of the twelve men began cussing.

"Come to the front all of you". Their legs began to move them to the front.

Pastor Mitch shouted out, "in the name of Jesus". They all fell as dead men at the altar. Their weapons fell beside them. They all begin hissing like snakes. "Be thou delivered from the things that has brought these spirits of hate upon you", shouted Pastor Mitch. Several terrorists began to scream with terror. Then there was a sound from heaven as a rushing of a mighty wind and it filled the auditorium. Everybody, men women boys and girls began to speak with tongues.

Liam stood there with tears streaming down his eyes, saying, "Oh God I am sorry I ran away from my calling as a child, return to me what I ran away from and I will serve you for the rest of my life". Liam who always walked with a limp, now walked straight. He praised God and begin to speak in tongues. The men who laid on the floor began to speak in tongues and prophesy. The bullets that were suspended in the air fell to the floor. A member just coming to church came in screaming about ten men laying dead in the street outside of the church, whom were later identified as terrorists.

Pastor Mitch had all the men seated in the front row as he made known many of the mysteries of the bible. He must have preached for thirty minutes until the police got there and escorted the men downtown. Pastor Mitch Pesche told the church that day, we must trust God no matter what the circumstance, no matter what the problem. Today God showed us in a miraculous way that he is on the side of the believer. This is not always the case because believers are killed every day. You must trust God!

Years later after serving a long prison sentence, Liam found Pastor Mitch now older. You saved our lives that day. Several men became lifelong Christians. Eric died in prison as a Christian. I got out earlier than the rest on a technicality. I quickly found a small Pentecostal assembly where I serve as a minister for years until I was elevated to pastor. I am thankful for that day Christ turned our lives around. Not all were saved. Some went farther into the religion of hate. Some were killed very torturously.

God be praised forever more.

Life Goes Fast

Life is continually moving ahead like a passenger train on the the track to who knows where. If you blink you will fall behind.

 

The scene constantly changes. Sometimes you can map it out, and sometimes not. There are times that the road is the driver and for some that’s best because they have no clue to where they want to go. Some take a more old fashioned approach and a use plans written by others who have travel the road before with some success. That could prove to be both good and bad, because many things change more than they stay the same. There are those that for a cost, sell you a plan of travel. They will tell you that if you don't use their plan you will absolutely become a statistic. Who wants to become a statistic? No one!

How do we get from point a to point b.? Some will say just keep riding. But what if you arrive at a destination in which you know nothing. You could wind up behind the eight ball to use an old cliché.

Doesn't your ticket have a destination? Funny, on this trip, it is according who you bought the ticket from.

To the point of this story,

The only way you can have a sure destination is to know the Master. He is the only one who have traveled this way and came back to tell about it. In fact, he inspired others to write about the way.

He will direct you from the cradle to the grave. You must accept his way to be successful.

Lord God direct my way in this life. I have come to the place where I have to trust you alone. I need your protection. I need your love. I need your guidance. Lord direct my way on the train known as life.

I bless you from this time forth In Jesus Name Amen!

 

Short Letter About God

It Is God Who Gives Life.

Sitting in the congregation one Sunday, after enjoying a full service and the preaching,

God sent a messenger my way to give me a heavenly message.

The preacher got up and begins to speak with all clarity.

She was talking about faith in the way that I understood.

She was under the influence of the Holy Spirit.

I knew that the message was for me.

Of all of the people that were there she begin to speak to me personally.

It shocked her because at the end if the service she approached me by telling me God wouldn't let her minister to anybody but me.

How great is that? God would take time in a congregation and speak directly to me.

I am often blown away at the love of God toward me.

God is saying, it is not because I do not care about the others in the church, but I can minister to all the church on different levels of understanding and reception at the same time and minister directly to you.

Thank you Lord for your ministry of love

Yours Truly

Wilbert

Thank you Lord for the ministry of love!!!

I'm Hearing Voices

Wisdom is the voice of my mother, when I'm reminded of the words she spoke to me when I was a child.

Wisdom is the voice of my father, when he said you can be more.

 

 

Judgement in Love is the voice of my father, when he gave me correction for a childish act.

Judgment in Love is the voice of my mother when she said, I'm going to tell your father.

 

 

Love is the touch of my mother, when I fell and scraped my knee.

Love is the touch of my father, when he place his hand on my shoulder and said, son, job well done

.

 

Protection is the voice of my mother, when she would place herself in harm's way for us

Protection is the voice of my father, as he stood firm against those who would with stand against my

 mother or our family.

.

These are the things that are always guiding me and helping me along the way.

They are never far away.

These are the things I will always have.

They are some of the gifts my parents gave me to know how to survive.

 

 

 God I thank you for these experiences.

Aynt-Ethel (Aunt Ethel)

Aynt-Ethel


Born, Ethel Louise Alexander, the fourth girl of four girls, and two boys.

She would prefer that you call her Aynt-E-thel (long E). We just affectionately call her Aynt-Ethel. To say it properly you had to say it as one word, with the t in Aynt being silent.

Growing up, she was called "baby" by her sisters and brothers because she was the baby sister. Aynt-Ethel spoke with a proper southern accent.

I have very fond memories of her.

She was now married to Charles Adams a very sweet and warm gentleman she met in her church.

"Put your coats in my bedroom on the bed".

We were having either a Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner in home, which we would do every year.

Aynt-Ethel was filled with southern grace, charm, and hospitality. When she saw my brother and I, she would with the biggest smile say, “well," how are you, as she spoke in a high pitched falsetto voice? She and "Brother Adams" as she so affectionately called him, would have soft music playing in the background. They were just two lovebirds in their middle age. The whole day was filled with good conversation and good soul food. Like at many of the Alexander functions they would get into the family stories....

For example,

One day, my mother (Fredna), as a small child was swinging back and forth on an old large wooden gate. The girls couldn't have been more than five and six years old. The old heavy gate came off of the hinges and fell on Fredna. Fredna said calmly in a low voice, get this gate up off of me. Usually everyone would start laughing at the way Fredna said it. They often marveled that Aynt-Ethel very small in stature, and very young in age, picked the heavy gate up off of Fredna.

There would be many stories about the sisters and brothers throughout the day. Being there gave us all a great sense of family.

Throughout the years with many ups and downs, Aynt-Ethel often kept a smile on her face and a prayer in her mouth.

Our lives would be so much different if she had not been there.

We are blessed for having
Aynt Ethel in our lives.

Aynt-Jean (Aunt Jean)

Aynt-Jean


Born,  Eugenia Hannah Alexander, the second of four girls and two boys. To us she was Aynt-Jean. To say her name properly you had to say it as one word with the t being silent in the Aynt.

"You better learn to tie those shoestrings or else you going get a whoopin' this day"...

Aynt-Jean spoke with a proper southern accent because you could get more jobs working for the "white folks" during an earlier time in the south, and because her mother demanded it. She was now a Joliet socialite who knew everybody in town including some of the town's officials and dignitaries.

"Jew" laid at the porch watching with caution as Ayn-Jean spoke with what seemed like anger attached to her voice. Jew was a very friendly, smart and very protective German Shepherd dog owned by Aynt-Jean and Uncle J.T.

Back then, Joliet seemed sunnier than Chicago, perhaps because it was more rural than Chicago where we just moved away from. The fragrance of lilacs, tulips, apple and cherry blossoms and the abundance of wild flowers and trees blossoming and filling the air made for a beautiful spring day.

"You've got to eleven o'clock to learn to tie those shoes".

My brother was six years old and I was five. And at those ages "you should already know how to tie your own shoe laces", she said.

Aynt-Jean was the self-proclaimed teacher of the family. She was the one who made sure all of the nieces and nephews had the basic skills and information as children. She loved teaching people to become better.

She always stated, she grew up in a time when black men had to be self sufficient if they were going to have anything. They had to "learn themselves" several trades. And if they were to succeed at working they had better learn to outwork and do double the amount of work of the white men just to get equal pay. You two had better start off right, speaking about my brother and I.

Gwendolyn, my first cousin, saw what was going on. She showed us how to tie our shoes two different ways and then tied for us. Gwen left; Aynt-Jean came back and didn't ask us to tie them up in front of her, but was satisfied and let us go off to play. For some strange reason we were able to tie our shoes from that time on.

Aynt-Jean was forever teaching somebody something. I am grateful to God for gracing my life with Aynt-Jean.

Life's Second Chance

Life's Second Chance


Sometimes I wish you could just close my eyes and all of my problems would disappear.

Sometimes I wish there was a magic wand I could wave and make all things new.

Sometimes I wish you could have a do over.

Sometimes I wish there was a refresh button for life's chaotic moments.

There would be some choices that I wouldn't make again. I would spend more time with friends, relatives, teachers, or any other persons of value that would pass away from my life.

I would spend my money differently. There would definitely be more money saved.

I would eat better.

In the scheme of things, life is very short. 70 years come and go so fast. At first I was a child with my parents. I went through my adolescent years. I chose to marry, others remained single. Now I am in my early 50's. At one time, I thought life was forever and I could do what you wanted without consequences. Now the realization that life is a practice of always building, has taken me by storm. I am a late bloomer. My reason for living now is to serve my God in a greater capacity, not by necessarily doing more, but doing better.

My father passed away at 53 years old. 30 year later, my mom passed away at 87 years old.

My father accomplished much more than I have at 53. Not having a formal education until he joined the service. He built a house and pastored two Churches. He was honored with many certificates of education.

Mom was the proverbial house wife. She facilitated the house and churches by doing all she could to help him become a better him.

I cannot do a do over.

I cannot wave a magic wand.

As for closing my eyes, not happening, to many things would pass me by.

But as for the refresh button...that may be possible.

I am writing again. I am administrating for another church. I can't change the past, but I can build on the future.


Better choices are ahead, and they start now.

The Music Lives On

I had the some of the experiences of my lifetime growing up in the Pentecostal churches of the 1960's, 1970's and 1980's. Music! Music and more Music! We sang hymns, spirituals, congregational songs, altar songs, choir music and songs for ever situation in church life.

There is nothing like feeling the move of the Spirit in song. Whether it was a Sunday service, bible class, prayer and consecration, whatever the occasion, there was the music.

There was something going on every day of the week. There was never a dull moment. Unlike present times where service is no more then 90-120 minutes, we had service all day long. Music was the thread that connected everything. If you didn't play an instrument or know how to sing, they had for you tambourines, maracas, and washboards for rhythm or taught you to let your hands made a joyful "noise". Sometimes it was noise because some couldn't sing, or keep rhythm, but they sung and worshiped unto the Lord.

"Sing Till the Power of the Comes Down".

"Lift up your head, don't be afraid",

"Sing till the power of the Lord comes down".

Great songs come and go but the premise is the same, the worship of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

I stood in front of the congregation at 4 years old singing, "This Little Light Of Mine". As in most of the churches the congregants would encourage you to do your best.

From that time I knew I wanted to do music. We also visited many churches, they called it fellowship.

I had the job of playing piano to represent my father's church. As I got older I sung solos. It was my job to learn as much music as I could.

In the 1970's through the 1990's the music started changing. Within my circles the focus was on group music, that is music performed by gospel groups, that took the mention of God out of songs and changed his name to" Love'. Now I agree that God is love, but it was done to make music more acceptable to the masses.

Now it is about worshiping God, with uplifted eyes, hands and heart for who he is. God is the focus again. Thank you Lord!

Music that is structured by the scriptures is the life of the sanctuary. If you don't believe me get without a musician.

Thank you Lord for allowing to be a worshipper!

I Ripped My Coat

I Ripped My Coat

"When you finish preaching go straight home, all by yourself. Do not entertain anybody. Let your words be few. This I tell you for your own survival".

The words of Bishop Charles Henry Taliefero seemed very strict to me. I was divorced now for about 1 year. I knew he wasn't trying to stop my friendships or associations, he was extending to me wisdom that would carry me through this personal dilemma...

Although I strived to do the right thing, the wrong thing always presented itself to me. I was not trying to be disobedient, I promise.

I just finished preaching what I considered to be a successful sermon. People were saved, healed and delivered. Now all I needed to do was go to my apartment, pray and give the service back to the Lord in worship and prayer, as it was always my practice to do so.

"You need to come and get your bible, I borrowed".

I hung the phone up. I suppose I can go in and come out right away. Susan probably won't be happy.

Susan was fully dressed in a jogging suit. Nothing going on here, I thought to myself.

She pulled up her shirt just to scratch her stomach. I saw it and thought nothing of it at first.

Where's my bible?

Being careful, I did not want to give this any chance to grow into anything. I got up and walk toward the door. She said wait. She wrap herself around me and kissed me very passionately. I kissed back.

I am a man, you know.

I do like her.(a likely excuse)

What am I doing?

Jesus, what am I doing?

The phone ringed.

I heard her say, Okay.

Thank you Jesus!

Yes Lord!

I won't!

 She hung the phone up, looking at me very strangely.

What's wrong, I asked?

That was Prophetess Sister. She told me to stop what I was doing. God is not pleased. Prophetess Sister continued, I don't know what it means, but I was in prayer and your face came before me and I had to give you the message I received.

Susan reached and gave me my bible. I immediately left. As I got into my car, I ripped my leather coat on the steering wheel lock.

Looking up to heaven, I asked God why didn't you warn me?

Yes I know it was the wrong attitude. It was how I was feeling. I was angry at myself. I was embarrassed with myself. I was not purposely disobedient to Bishop Taliefero's warning, I allowed myself to just gloss over it by not actively thinking about it. I also knew that God spared me.

Lord, let me start again.

First of all, thank you Lord for saving me and Susan. Secondly, forgive me Lord. I had only intentions of getting my bible. I got caught up in emotions. I am sorry. I then started my car and pulled away in the below zero degree frigid weather.

I went home and sought the Lord. That night I vowed to never get in that circumstance again.

The next day after I got home from work Susan showed up at my door. I wasn't going to open the door for fear that I would get involved again. I watched from my window as she left and drove away. I refused to subject myself to that again. I just barely escaped by the hairs of my chinny chin chin.

We did talk a few days later. I asked her to forgive me. She asked me to forgive her.

She and I remained great friends.

I only tell this story so that others can avoid the pitfall that I found myself into that night. I was wrong and needed God's forgiveness. I allowed my vision to become blurred. I allow my mind to go into neutral state of not focusing on God's command.

 I kept the leather coat and never repaired it to serve as a reminder of this time in my life.

Deadly Arrows

"I don't want you anymore",

She was so resolute in her as a matter of fact demeanor. She rarely smiled. Always such a stern look on her face. I used to wonder if she sat in front of the mirror and practiced that look.

"I need you to go".

Okay, I am thoroughly confused.

My naiveté must have been showing like a beacon in the darkness of night. We were married, we shared the same bed.

Okay where am I going?

I sure didn't see that coming. Her eyes pierce through me even more than her words. She had to know I was caught off guard by her words like arrows custom made for my heart.

What's wrong? What did I do? How long have you known about this? She would not answer any of my questions. This was strange to me, because she always had an answer for everything.

"I want you to leave".

Was she trying to punish me for something I did or didn't do? For me, punishment from her was a constant occurrence. More times than not, I would ignore her anger.

Sure there were tumultuous times, but like knots on a string, we could work those things out. I am neither sad nor mad. I clearly do not know what's going on. She is reluctant to say anything that could bring me some sense of clarity. She was purposely trying to be vague.

I was 27 years old and I never experienced anything like this before. A few of my relatives warned me that this would happen. I was naive. I thought it would be like my parents marriage, in the course of time we would work things out.

We were two bible believing, church going, and clean living people. What we couldn't work out among ourselves, we could work it out at church. Again, so I believed. When I saw church folks backing away, as if to say, that's not our issue, I was stunned.

It didn't get better, it got worse. I begin to develop stomach problems.

My blood pressure begin to rise ever so slightly. This was the beginnings of my health issues.

I moved into a hotel which gave me time to work out some of my personal issues. Lord, now I was in the middle of many mental patients, alcoholics, drug abusers, prostitutes and pimps. During this time I prayed very fervently. I wasn't with my wife, but I grew better day by day. The pastor of the congregation began to put me to work.

"When you finish preaching go straight home, all by yourself. Do not entertain anybody. Let your words be few. This I tell you for your own survival".

His words seemed very strict to me. I knew he wasn't trying to stop my friendships and associations; he was extending to me wisdom that would carry me through this personal dilemma.

On some occasions I would see her. She would go out of her way to let me know she didn't want me back.

"I do not want to have anything to do with you. Stop trying to frequent the same places I go. You are going to walk upon something you won't like. We are over"!

Some knots should be left alone until time dictates. Her anger was not abated. She grew more resolute in her position.

Never will I say I was innocent in all of this. There's more than one side to every story. That is better left up to her story.

Now to the point at hand, I needed a God intervention. I needed relief and release. If we were going to reconcile, I needed to know. I needed to know if this was a mind game. If she wanted to call it quits, I needed to know.

Eventually it came up in the conversation, while she was on the phone with someone else.

How do you go so long without him?

It is the result that I will get.

They told me if I treat him bad, he will always cling to me.

So is that your plan to treat him bad?

Until I get the thing I want.

Girl that man won't let you control him and when he finds out, his anger will be out of control.

Now why did I have to hear that phone conversation? Actually I heard one side that day and the other side a awhile later.

I say that I was given the answer right then and there.

I was sad, but at peace.

Consider The Ant

Consider The Ant

 
#1

They handed her the doctor's report. You have 4th stage cancer. She kept tapping her fingers on the table, not saying a word. In her eyes was a blank gaze. She later told me all she could see was her own death. In her imagination, everybody gathered around her body crying. What was especially hard was seeing her baby who was now 30 years old crying...

#2

It was especially hard for him to breathe. He said it felt like ten tons of bricks on his chest. We had just lost another friend to congestive heart failure. After he was rushed to the hospital, he found out that he had an aneurysm explode in his heart. What kind of silliness is this, he pondered?

#3

Everything he wanted to eat, he ate in abundance. Sugar, fat, caffeine, everything. He never thought there would be a day of reckoning. He did what he wanted to women there without regrets. He now lies in a hospital bed with kidney liver and heart troubles.

Life is very serious. In Proverbs, the writer asks us to consider the ant. He makes provision for winter all summer long. He has no ruler or overseer. He works toward his goal of being prepared.

Youth is a deceiver. Good times and youthful resolve, lulls you into false comfortability.

Time is given by God as an allotment for choices regarding our future. We have instead wasted so much of it on the dictates of our flesh.

Do what feels good no matter how it hurts others. Do not consider the outcome that may indeed hurt others.

Do what feels good no matter how it affect our own body.

Live for the moment.

"I have time".

I have time...

This mindset is everything that the Enemy of God wants you to have.

The people in stories #1 and #2 came against me at work. They plotted my demise. They determined that they were going to get me fired. They set me up for failure on many occasions. They sabotaged my work. I couldn't figure out their reasons for doing so. They had good positions with good pay, but I became their target. They talked about me behind my back. They showed themselves wise when speaking to the bosses about my failures (their sabotages). I just kept working. I gave God praise while it was happening, but it was still stressful. Finally, they laughed at my defeats.

Is God punishing them concerning me?

No,

I don't think so. I don't think that they considered that all things will come into accountability unto God. Unlike the ant, they did not consider winter was coming.

Having gone through some health issues myself, knowing what it is to suffer, it is my responsibility to pray for them because winter comes for everybody.

The person in the third story ballooned up in excess of 400 pounds. He ate everything going and coming. He did not consider the effect of excess sugar, salt, fat and alcohol on his body. He never considered the effect of infidelity upon his mates. Being a minister he never considered his challenging of pastors in front of their flocks.

He never considered the traps that he set for others. Before his eyes, his body was aging. All he saw was 400 pounds of prime choice.

He never considered that winter was coming.

I now have these three on my prayer list to be prayed for in my time of prayer.

I pray because winter is coming and I must have the essentials of life stored for when spring or summer are ended.

My Son

My Son

McKinley Alexander-Caleb, born 11 years ago today. Mac was born with a smile. He was a very happy baby. His mother and I went through a very long and tedious 9 months. She and I both were very surprised to see him to be such a happy baby. He smiled more than he cried. As a toddler, Mac learned to wink. Mac loved winking at all females. Yes, he was quite the flirt.

His mother spent a lot of time with the children. She loved the movie, "The Color Purple". There was a scene where the children were being taught to read. She begins teaching my daughter to read and spell. Mac always listening and learning begins to learn the lessons as a three year old. He learned to spell three-hundred words by the time he was four years old. Upon entering his head-start class, he noticed the teachers' name plate. He ask the teacher if that was her name? She said yes.

B-e-e-c-h-e-r "Beecher", he said. Your name is Beecher.

He blew the socks off of every adult in the room. Needless to say, he became the teachers' favorite. For a couple of years, In second and third grade he and my daughter placed first and second place in the entire school in the spelling bee.

Mac until this day remains a very happy child. I always tell him how great he is right now, and how great he will be in the future. I bless his existence. I confirm his existence. I speak life into his existence. I will never tell him anything less. He is a gifted child. He was born to stand before kings and dignitaries. I remind him of his life's calling. It will never be one that I chose for him, but as he was anointed from a baby to be. He is my child. He is born of my flesh and blood. He will carry on where I leave off. I will never leave him without hope of a brighter today and tomorrow.

 I will never leave him without the knowledge that his father believes in him.

My Daughter

Today I had a talk with my 12 year old daughter. She told me some of the problems she was having. I have never talked down to her, or in a manner that was considered baby talk. She has always spoken to me as an older person.

The children of today are very smart. They know when you are speaking down to them. There are too many television shows that speak on a level that is far superior to that of child talk. Maybe in the past you could get away with it, but not anymore .I teach her to speak on the of level of an adult, but remain respectful as a child.

Today we spoke on family matters, no not the old television show, but what all matters as growing up. She told me some things I had to listen before I responded. We got through the conversation without playing the blame game.

At the end of every conversation, I always tell her how great she is right now, and how great she will be in the future. I bless her existence. I confirm her existence. I speak life into her existence. I will never tell her anything less. She is a gifted child. She was born to stand before kings and dignitaries. I remind her of her life's calling. It will never one that I chose for her, but as she was anointed from a baby to be. She is my child. She is born of my flesh and blood. She will carry on where I leave off. I will never leave her without hope of a brighter today and tomorrow.

 I will never leave her without the knowledge that her father believes in her.              

Life Is Not A Game of Chance

On my traveling home from work in my car, two little girls perhaps of Junior High School age, ran across the street in front of my car. I hit the brake just in time. All I could see was me hitting them with my car. They laughed as if they were playing the squirrel game, "let's play beat the car". Immediately my eyes teared-up out of anger and sadness. It could have gotten bad in inches and seconds. Passing them by, they gave me that stupid look, we beat you".

Father I thank you that you spared the life of these two little girls. I pray that you teach them to be wise. I pray that you give them discernment. Bring them into the knowledge that you spared them. IJN, I pray, amen!

The Stories

I come from a family of storytellers. They always told their stories of growing up in the south during "The Great Depression". Every holiday when we would come together, after the meet and greet, after the great spread of soul food featuring everyone's special dish, after all the food was consumed and the dishes were cleaned, came story time. Someone would start off telling the story with that reminds me of the time with Uncle Brother...

Uncle Brother could not be out done, he would tell his side with his slant. Oh the laughter that followed. Aunt Jean would start her story and the same thing would follow. Whoever was the object would tell it from their slant and the laughter would go on and on. The stories would go on and on until all six siblings told their funny story.

Melvira was the oldest and the trailblazer. Jean was the fighter and defender. My mother Fredna, was the soft-spoken one, Ethel was the baby girl. William was the oldest son, mostly quiet at times, but very particular about everything. Wilbert also known as Brother, the baby, was known for his mischievous personality. Melvira also had a baby named Mary John-Ann, who became the baby of the family. Growing up I the south meant, love and family.

All the children of the brothers and sisters knew the stories.

These stories are passed down to us. No one is really telling the old stories anymore since all of the brothers and sisters are gone.

I have taken on the tradition of storytelling now. I am still learning to write and the process of writing, and telling many stories of my own. I discovered that my children really love to hear them. I will do my best to keep the tradition going.

 Thus we have Lunchbox Stories
  

 . 

What I Learned From Knots

Untying Knots

I remember as a four year old child my mother saw that I was able to untie knots. So she would tie strings into knots to see if I could untie them. I quickly learned which part of the knot would slip first and which part would loosen first. For a long time looking back on this, I thought of it as mean spirited. I also thought maybe it would just give her a kick just to observe me do it.

When my daughter was about 2 years old, I could give her a package that was very hard for an adult to open. She would look at it. She would bang it on the floor. In about 5 minutes or less she would have the package open. I don't know if I was getting a kick out of seeing her successfully open the package or I was totally amazed at the ingenuity of a child.

About a year ago my friend was talking to my cousin, and my cousin gave my friend the key to my childhood personality and why my mother did some of the things she did. So I call my cousin who grew under the tutelage of my mother. My cousin said that my mother knew the difference between the personalities of my brother and I. We both had inquiring minds and it was very hard to keep us still. We were always exploring. Mother began giving us problems to solve sometimes to keep us occupied and sometimes to see if we could solve them. For me, no matter what problem she gave me I could solve it very quickly. She was always amazed at my ingenuity also. For many years a string of knots was my problem to solve.

In my adult life I have been given many knots to untie, philosophically of course. None the less, I don't know if I have solved them like the knots my mother used to give me.

I still strive every day to be what God would have me to be,  even if it means I still have to untie knots.

Then Came The Dry Season

 
When I was young, Mama was quite the gardener. She worked a spot of land in our back yard, which was about 90' x 50'. I used to watch in the spring of the year, as she would take a shovel, a hoe, and till the whole garden. Of course Daddy would help her when he could, but she considered it her project. She would come in at night to a tub of Epsom Salt and hot water after many hours of hard work. The next day, without fail, she would break up the grass from the clumps of soil. Again she would do the same Epsom Salt routine. The next couple of days she would dig her individual rows for planting. Of course different vegetables would require different planting times.

The soil in the spring time has a freshness that says it was ready for seed time. Working with the soil brings you into fellowship with nature. Some seeds had to be planted deep while other seeds had been planted shallow. Some planting required two seeds to a hole, while other planting required more. After planting, Mama would water the garden when necessary. Mama put up a fence made of chicken wire to keep the small animals from eating the plants and produce. Every couple of days after the seed sprouted she would watch not to let weeds choke the plants out. Mama nurtured that garden like a mother nurturing a baby.

After the plants grew, she would go out and pull weeds. It's funny to me, how weeds are stronger and more pervasive then the crop plants.

God provided the sun and the rain, and Mama provided the care and responsibility. Many days would come and go until it was ready for harvest.

Every once and a while the heavens would not yield forth rain; the ground would become parched, although the weeds kept growing. Sometimes this could last for a couple of days or a couple of weeks. All the effort put into the garden, it could be lost by the heavens closing. Not to mention the money put into the supplies. The dryness zaps all the water out of the soil and then the plants. The plants will die if they do not receive the water needed to grow. Mama would take the garden hose and water the garden in the cool of the evening, but never in the heat of the day but in the cool of the evening. After all the care she put into protecting the garden, she wasn't going to let the dry spells overtake the thing that she loved and the thing she put time, energy, and effort into.

We never lacked in the winter because Mama had the foresight to prepare, first of all by making the land ready, planting and protecting the harvest. She also made sure she canned for the fall and winter months. We were never in need of produce.

Do you ever wonder if God really cares for you?

Do ever feel like e everything is trying to choke you out?

Do you ever feel like your enemies are wild animals trying to destroy you before you have fulfilled your life's purpose?

Do you ever go through dry spells in your life?

Do you feel like heaven's doors are shut on you?

Does it feel like these seasons will never end?

Are all of your sources dry?

Do you feel like God is not answering your prayers?

Does it seem like the sinner and the ungodly are prospering and you are not.

You may be going through a dry season. It too will pass. Where is the cool of our evening?

God I trust you to see me through these times. You have done it before and you are doing it this time. I may not be able to see it, but you are bringing me though it and out of it. Your mercies are like the morning dew. They refresh me every morning.

Great is your faithfulness!

What Has Eyes But Can't See

For all the good you do, they will never, take notice unless it affects them personally.

They will never see your sacrifice.

They will never see your struggle.

They will never know the path you have walked or the roads you have blazed.
Some will not take notice to the ease of the task.

All of the time, energy,  and effort you put in will count as nothing.

Some will say with disrespect,  it was your job to do so.

They watch you everyday. They behold your good.

Some will even go as far as to take credit and honor for what you've done.

They have eyes by they can't see.

You have to look beyond into the future and behold the good of a better tomorrow.

Prayer That Won't Take No For An Answer

There is a song that says,

I prayed and I prayed,
I prayed all night  long.
I prayed and I prayed,
until I found the Lord.

My soul just couldn't be contented until I found the Lord.

For me there is no happiness or contentment in not knowing Gods answer on an issue. Some will get angry when man tells us no or you can't or that's impossible. I go to God to hear what he has to say.

Prayer has no limitations of what God can do. The Scripture says that God is able to do exceeding abundantly above what we ask or think.

Something that exceeds "abundantly above " is out of the spectrum of impossibility as well as beyond the scope of possibility and is not limited by impossibility. It can not be measure by human reasoning. Simply stated, you can not put a limit on what God can do by prayer. He can do anything. He can do all things.

The soul that cries out to God in prayer and that will not set a time limit, great or small,  on the most important activity of the day.  I clearly understands it is not about time, but about the sincerity of the heart. Prayer is over when its over. Sometimes, not until God releases you.

This time that is spent with God is closely associated with intimacy.

During this time there is sharing.

During this time there is singing.

During this time there is a flooding of emotions.

During this time there is thanksgiving and praise.

During this time there is listening.

Some will play sacred, worship, and praise music.
I know some that will dance before the Lord.

This is a time "taken" from our day or night . I stressed taken because sometimes it will not happen unless we take (apprehend like a police) this time from our day. We can not force the hand of God to do our biding. It is not about us going through the blessing catalog of heaven and ordering what we want for our carnal needs. Although that may happen, prayer is a time for learning who God is, and staying in his presence and also getting to know what he wants for and from us. And God does not do for us what we can do for ourselves.

When we start this time with God, many things try to interrupt this time. We have to stand vigilant to stop interruptions and distractions, even if it means setting our alarm clocks to the middle of the night when no one is stirring about.

Like the old negro spiritual song, we must steal away to Jesus.

It is also during this time of intimacy we find out the power we have with him. Nothing sneaks up upon us anymore. We are not caught of guard by anything . No enemy or foe, No weapon or strike, no news event or catastrophic  event will come upon us.

God gives his people the secrets of the world.

God gave Daniel the interpretation of King Nebuchadnezzar's dream.

Daniel says,

Daniel 2:22-23

He revealeth the deep and secret things: he knoweth what is in the darkness, and the light dwelleth with him. I thank thee, and praise thee, O thou God of my fathers, who hast given me wisdom and might, and hast made known unto me now what we desired of thee: for thou hast now made known unto us the king's matter.

Remember it was Daniel that prayed 3 times a day. He was intimate with the Lord in prayer.

The world us constantly telling us no. You can't do this or that unless you do this or that.

The doctors will say according to their medical history of this, you will only live this way or that way.

The doctors will say this illness is terminal.

The lawyers will tell you that you will lose  such and such because of this or that.

The finance people say you can't afford this.

The employer say that you are not qualified for a position.

On an on...

No no no...

We learn very quickly that all real answers are found in prayer.

If God gives you a no then it's a no. If he gives you a no, it is because he sees the road ahead.

It is important for us to know that our life and destiny is in the hands of God.
It good to know that every no that  man has to give, God will redirect and give a yes.

No More Shut Doors

"Visualize this...

I visualized myself sitting on a stool on a stage holding a guitar or even sitting at a piano with my head slightly tilted up. I would sing and, out of my mouth springing forth melodious notes of many themes. I imagined this being the way to bring my gift to the masses, and to bring financial freedom to my family. I dreamed of a day that many artists would sing my written songs. I dreamed, I dreamed, I dreamed...

I met and "fell" in love with a beautiful young lady who gravitated to my side so quickly, even I was so amazed. I hadn't had so many girlfriends in life because I was married to my music. They all understood that I was going to spend a considerable amount of time with my craft. I made that clear from the beginning of every relationship.

We shall call her Sallie.

Sallie had a very savvy business sense. She could take on any business situation and steer it to its success. She could negotiate a contract as if she was an accomplished contract lawyer. Business was not my forte, it was hers. Creativity was my strong suit.

After a year of courting, we got married. Marriage was agreeable with us, or so I thought. I noticed for the first time she liked to fight aggressively and then play the roll of victim, even at times she would go for the total kill, figuratively of course. I never fought a girl in my life and I really never had the reason to fight this one. While I understood arguing for position, I never understood why couples had to fight. All I ever wanted to do was just to love Sallie. Sallie began to become more violent and withdrawn as the days went by. She would coerce me into situations I have never been in my whole life.

Finally one day she finally said it. The thing I most dreaded hearing. "You might as well put an end to this music thing. It’s not working for me. You are my husband and you are going to get a regular job. This crazy to me, because I was working a regular job.

>>>>>I could still hear the music of my dreams calling me. It was saying to me to press forward past the words of another's inward anger of past failed relationships>>>>

She now was in full mode of total annihilation of my dreams. She went to my music equipment and threw things on the floor.

After 2 or 3 years of this I couldn't take it anymore. My family said I was a fool. Her family looked upon me as foolish. I just gave up on my dreams. I thought that this would make her happy, but no it got worse. When I was changed into what she wanted and its not who she met, she became dissatisfied with what I became.

The game "I can change  

You have to love the one you're with. You've got to be in love with who they are. You cannot kill their dreams. You cannot destroy their aspirations. When one has dreams, they bank everything they are upon it. It is their total personality. It is what they have become in years of building their being.

I am a shell of what I am, totally devoid of my sanguine personality I once possessed. A zombie, I was the living dead. This is also the time my blood pressure began to rise and I began to have stomach problems.

Two are at fault, the one who did it and the one who allowed it to happen.

Why did you allow it to happen?

Two reasons:

1. I didn't believe in walking away.

2. I thought maybe I was being ridiculous for having a dream that could possibly fail.

I let her kill my dreams I allowed it to happen. I let her convince me that my dreams were not worth pursuing.

After 18 years, I have recommitted to my dreams. This round, I will not allow anyone tell me to stop pursuing the thing I was created to do.

If someone cannot see my dreams, than they cannot be a part of my dreams.

The difference between now and then is not just the age factor, but I have entrusted things in the hands of the Lord.

Set before me is many doors. When one closes another one opens.

Never Just Lay Down

Joe Said, "never just lay down".


I marveled at this statement. I pondered it and I kept it in my mind for over two weeks. I thought it to be something we Christians can put into practice...

I hadn't seen Joe in a few years. We worked together on the rod line at the same plant back in 2004. He was an assembler and I was a forklift driver. Joe believed in putting in a day's work for a day’s pay. He never stole time. After working with Joe, I noticed that he would get dizzy. He would stretch out his arms to balance himself so that he would not fall. He would fight to stay balanced. Many times I would just pray quietly and ask God to help him.

Years later, reacquainting myself with him, I asked him, Joe how did you ever get through those times and that sickness? He looked at me as if trying to study my question before he answered.

Joe said, never just lay down. I was not going to let it conquer me. He said, if you lay down, you are surrendering to it.

Now Joe is not particularly religious, but to me, he spoke with the voice of a trumpeting angel.

We give up too quickly.
We sometimes throw in the towel long before we achieve the impending victory. If we have to fight we might as well give up.! We say in defeat, victory is for those others.

In the bible faith is a shield and is accompanied by a sword. They are weapons for battle. If we get without our sword, we must use our shield.
We can't just lie down and surrender to enemy. The greatest part of the battle is when we become without. The greatest part of our personal conflict is close combat when we are looking the enemy in the eye. I am not glorifying battle because in the battle, death can be moments or inches away.

Joe's statement is focused on the center of the battle when we are battle worn, we must stand there and fight despite how we feel.

This life we live is about moving forward.

Joe's statement is when you have lost all of weapons and the only thing we can do is move to escape the enemy's sword. When we are off balance and can't find equilibrium.

Must keep moving,
Can't give up...

Survivors are those who never give up.

Who Says Stuff Like That

"Sometimes we Christians say the craziest things, or course I include myself also. It was awhile back, however, it was said".

A "prophet" walked up to me and said, I am going to take that preacher's anointing because he is not doing anything with it.

I was really taken aback, not because he didn't have what he thought as a basis in the scripture for saying it, but he was not doing anything with what he had. How could he so readily see the issues in the others, and not see any issues in himself.

Every gift and anointing comes with a price. Some by fasting and prayer, some by trials and tests, some by hours spent perfecting an aptitude in certain areas, but they all have a price. Not to mention the price of the giver. Gifted, anointed, called, appointed, and talented, these are all gifts from and of God. Both are for the use in natural and spiritual arenas.

God suited our individual gifts to us, and for us. They move in us and around us. They attract like-gifts to us. By using our gifts, we feel needed and useful. We become empty without the use of them. I saw an elderly pianist blush and act like a teen when asked to play a song. Some have tried to abuse the gifts of others by trying to control them. It is like trying to control a butterfly, you wind up killing or enslaving it. There are thousands of stories that reveal this. A wise leader will cultivate a gift, and push the gifted forward to their fullest potential. However, many have been cut off before they had any time to develop. The two gifts in which I speak are music and ministry.

As musician I don't feel subservient to any other musician. As a minister I don't feel subservient to any other minister. My parents taught me to yield my gift unto to Lord. Just like the drummer boy in the song. I play and give my best for him pa rum pa bum bum.

There are copy cats for everything, but there is nothing like the original. Mom always said, don't copy anyone else, you just be you. I have strived over the years with all that I have, to give from the depths of of my soul.

When someone says they want to take someone else's gift I am thrown for a loop. To me it is no more than robbery of another person's coat. A tailor made coat is made to fit just one person. It moves with that person's natural lines.

The talents in the scripture are about managing resources. It is about making resources multiply. Not about controlling or robbing others. When God makes you a steward over resources he knows that you have the ability to multiply them.
I am not a judge, but many with have to answer to God on what they did, or did not do with his resources. Gifts are about praise and worship. The prophet who said he was going to take the anointing of another would fall and fail, in trying to use something that he has not proven.
 He would first have to pay the price.

Daddy Said

Daddy Said

I was in the 4th grade when my father told my brother and I to go and get our ping pong equipment from our friend Hugh. Instead we had a "better idea". Our friends invited us to play baseball.

Oh how I loved playing baseball. It was one of my only outlets. I was either practicing piano lessons, doing homework or in church somewhere in my spare time. Yes, baseball was my great escape.

Mom had always given me the continuing  instruction to always be careful because the enemy desired always to sift me as wheat. In other words divide me into a thousand places so that I was useless to everyone. She always felt I was called of God to be an ambassador. She felt that the enemy of God was always trying to take me out.

The baseball game was going very well. Robert was up to bat. Strike one, then strike two was called. Robert seemed a little anxious. The pitcher released the ball. It made contact with the bat. In excitement, Robert let the bat fly. The bat made contact with my  nose. The only thing I remember was seeing white squiggly lines against a black background Then I remember my brother taking me home with my nose busted wide open. I met my mom and dad as I went in the house.

Dad was looking very angry. Mom was looking emotionally upset. Dad asked, didn't I tell you to go get your equipment and come straight back?

I was trying to figure out why didn't we come straight back. Dad rushed me to the hospital. Four stitches later, we were on our way home. My dad seeking a punishment for my disobedience said, you might not get to go on your field trip. No anything but that, I thought. He let me rest on those words for a few days. Mom did eventually speak in my defense. I enjoyed the field trip.

As  an adult this story has spiritual significance for me. When "Daddy God" tells us to do something there will always be distractions along the way. Enticing voices will pull on us. Enjoyment will call out our name. I don't what led my biological father to tell us to come straight back. All I know my disobedience caused me to suffer undue hurt and pain. I carry to this day, 41 years later, the scar of my disobedience. What spiritual scars am I carrying due to my spiritual disobedience.

The enemy desires to destroy us. He desires to sift us as wheat also. I think about the goodness, mercy and grace that God gives but I also think about the scars.

You Just Shouldn't Cuss

The first step in the right direction.

I realized I was wrong. There were things I could not take back. Sometimes my words work against me. What was I to do? I felt trapped like an animal. I felt pushed into a corner. So I came out with very offensive words.

Oh God, I'm a Christian and words like that shouldn't come from my lips.
Words like that are meant to mow people down.

I realize others will have no conscious about those types of words. They will not give it a second thought. To them it is second nature. For me that is no excuse. Even if I have done it before there is no excuse.

Abusive words are not words that I should speak...

My business partner and I were jammed for time. He is more of a brother to me. It had gotten late in the afternoon. The bank will be closing very shortly. My only concern was getting the utility bills paid. It took two signatures to get the funds. The utility company had just sent us a final notice.

I looked over at Benjamin; he was having a good time with Tina. Tina was not his girlfriend, but he was very fond of her.

Come on, we're going to be late, l kept repeating. I got in the vehicle and waited for ten minutes. Ben is the type that is never concerned about anything. The house could be on fire, he will just look at it burning. We need to go now, I said, frightened of the closing time. Ben look at me as only he could, and returned talking to Tina. I hollered out of the window, if we don't go now we won't make it and the utilities will be shut off. Benjamin kept talking as if I wasn't there. Finally he casualty walked to the vehicle, and got in.

Soon after Benjamin got in, I began reading him the riot act. Words came from my mouth that even shocked me.

How can this be happening? I am saying everything but the right thing. I cannot stop the magnitude of what is being said. It felt very much like a dream, where I am watching myself say things that I shouldn't say and cannot stop myself.

Finally just as quick as it started it stopped. Now on the way to the bank Benjamin didn't turn to the right or to the left, but kept his head straight forward. He had neither a smile or a frown. Needless to say we did not make it to the bank in time.

Okay, it was if I threw a large stone in a glass house and I couldn't take it back. The spotlight from above was on me. It didn't matter that Benjamin procrastinated. It didn't matter that he was talking to Tina. The only thing that mattered is the fit of rage I threw.

How do I get out of this one?

First I had to say a silent prayer to God. Forgive me Lord. Then I turned to Benjamin and said forgive me for what I just said to you. There is no excuse for that type of rage.

I learned that day not to allow rage to get the best of me.

I learned you cannot allow my temper to dictate my actions.

The Maze

The Maze

We run from corner to corner
Making our way from pillar to post

We run into so many dead ends
Until experience give us hope.

Marking our steps all the time which in actuality seems like a waste 

Wisdom  takes hold when
we don't go
In the old familiar place

Life is sometimes a maze
Life is sometimes a chase
Life is sometimes a race
Life is sometimes a place

Observe everything along the way and learn from your experiences .

In Love

You're good with my good could be something very special.

But that's not what I'm concerned about.

What happens to each other when we show our bad?

We face the inevitable without a doubt.

We hide what we don't want the other to see with love in our eyes

Neither one is trying to be deceptive but this is the way we mark the prize.

Pay attention to detail!

On Aging

Take advantage of what you have while time is in your side.

The time will come wherein only memories you will abide.

When youth is the tide flooding in
The key is to watch the ebbing tide

This truth you will not hide.

Change is inevitable

The Poison We Eat

They found children eating peeling paint chips on walls full of lead.

We found out that eventually they would wind up mentally slow or eventually  dead.

And now they are genetically  putting the poison in seed stock ,  we are feeding our children GMO's.

And they're asking us  in tragic comedic-prose, what are the dangers and who really knows?

Eating and sleeping at the same time.

A Disaster (A Verse)

My friend started a relationship

He was on his way to happily ever after

He forgot to check the history of his goods

Now 20 years later it's a different matter

He got a real life disaster

Yes life is a business and it pays to check ahead

Sometimes you may never know what you have until you're almost dead