Aynt-Jean (Aunt Jean)

Aynt-Jean


Born,  Eugenia Hannah Alexander, the second of four girls and two boys. To us she was Aynt-Jean. To say her name properly you had to say it as one word with the t being silent in the Aynt.

"You better learn to tie those shoestrings or else you going get a whoopin' this day"...

Aynt-Jean spoke with a proper southern accent because you could get more jobs working for the "white folks" during an earlier time in the south, and because her mother demanded it. She was now a Joliet socialite who knew everybody in town including some of the town's officials and dignitaries.

"Jew" laid at the porch watching with caution as Ayn-Jean spoke with what seemed like anger attached to her voice. Jew was a very friendly, smart and very protective German Shepherd dog owned by Aynt-Jean and Uncle J.T.

Back then, Joliet seemed sunnier than Chicago, perhaps because it was more rural than Chicago where we just moved away from. The fragrance of lilacs, tulips, apple and cherry blossoms and the abundance of wild flowers and trees blossoming and filling the air made for a beautiful spring day.

"You've got to eleven o'clock to learn to tie those shoes".

My brother was six years old and I was five. And at those ages "you should already know how to tie your own shoe laces", she said.

Aynt-Jean was the self-proclaimed teacher of the family. She was the one who made sure all of the nieces and nephews had the basic skills and information as children. She loved teaching people to become better.

She always stated, she grew up in a time when black men had to be self sufficient if they were going to have anything. They had to "learn themselves" several trades. And if they were to succeed at working they had better learn to outwork and do double the amount of work of the white men just to get equal pay. You two had better start off right, speaking about my brother and I.

Gwendolyn, my first cousin, saw what was going on. She showed us how to tie our shoes two different ways and then tied for us. Gwen left; Aynt-Jean came back and didn't ask us to tie them up in front of her, but was satisfied and let us go off to play. For some strange reason we were able to tie our shoes from that time on.

Aynt-Jean was forever teaching somebody something. I am grateful to God for gracing my life with Aynt-Jean.

Life's Second Chance

Life's Second Chance


Sometimes I wish you could just close my eyes and all of my problems would disappear.

Sometimes I wish there was a magic wand I could wave and make all things new.

Sometimes I wish you could have a do over.

Sometimes I wish there was a refresh button for life's chaotic moments.

There would be some choices that I wouldn't make again. I would spend more time with friends, relatives, teachers, or any other persons of value that would pass away from my life.

I would spend my money differently. There would definitely be more money saved.

I would eat better.

In the scheme of things, life is very short. 70 years come and go so fast. At first I was a child with my parents. I went through my adolescent years. I chose to marry, others remained single. Now I am in my early 50's. At one time, I thought life was forever and I could do what you wanted without consequences. Now the realization that life is a practice of always building, has taken me by storm. I am a late bloomer. My reason for living now is to serve my God in a greater capacity, not by necessarily doing more, but doing better.

My father passed away at 53 years old. 30 year later, my mom passed away at 87 years old.

My father accomplished much more than I have at 53. Not having a formal education until he joined the service. He built a house and pastored two Churches. He was honored with many certificates of education.

Mom was the proverbial house wife. She facilitated the house and churches by doing all she could to help him become a better him.

I cannot do a do over.

I cannot wave a magic wand.

As for closing my eyes, not happening, to many things would pass me by.

But as for the refresh button...that may be possible.

I am writing again. I am administrating for another church. I can't change the past, but I can build on the future.


Better choices are ahead, and they start now.

The Music Lives On

I had the some of the experiences of my lifetime growing up in the Pentecostal churches of the 1960's, 1970's and 1980's. Music! Music and more Music! We sang hymns, spirituals, congregational songs, altar songs, choir music and songs for ever situation in church life.

There is nothing like feeling the move of the Spirit in song. Whether it was a Sunday service, bible class, prayer and consecration, whatever the occasion, there was the music.

There was something going on every day of the week. There was never a dull moment. Unlike present times where service is no more then 90-120 minutes, we had service all day long. Music was the thread that connected everything. If you didn't play an instrument or know how to sing, they had for you tambourines, maracas, and washboards for rhythm or taught you to let your hands made a joyful "noise". Sometimes it was noise because some couldn't sing, or keep rhythm, but they sung and worshiped unto the Lord.

"Sing Till the Power of the Comes Down".

"Lift up your head, don't be afraid",

"Sing till the power of the Lord comes down".

Great songs come and go but the premise is the same, the worship of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

I stood in front of the congregation at 4 years old singing, "This Little Light Of Mine". As in most of the churches the congregants would encourage you to do your best.

From that time I knew I wanted to do music. We also visited many churches, they called it fellowship.

I had the job of playing piano to represent my father's church. As I got older I sung solos. It was my job to learn as much music as I could.

In the 1970's through the 1990's the music started changing. Within my circles the focus was on group music, that is music performed by gospel groups, that took the mention of God out of songs and changed his name to" Love'. Now I agree that God is love, but it was done to make music more acceptable to the masses.

Now it is about worshiping God, with uplifted eyes, hands and heart for who he is. God is the focus again. Thank you Lord!

Music that is structured by the scriptures is the life of the sanctuary. If you don't believe me get without a musician.

Thank you Lord for allowing to be a worshipper!

I Ripped My Coat

I Ripped My Coat

"When you finish preaching go straight home, all by yourself. Do not entertain anybody. Let your words be few. This I tell you for your own survival".

The words of Bishop Charles Henry Taliefero seemed very strict to me. I was divorced now for about 1 year. I knew he wasn't trying to stop my friendships or associations, he was extending to me wisdom that would carry me through this personal dilemma...

Although I strived to do the right thing, the wrong thing always presented itself to me. I was not trying to be disobedient, I promise.

I just finished preaching what I considered to be a successful sermon. People were saved, healed and delivered. Now all I needed to do was go to my apartment, pray and give the service back to the Lord in worship and prayer, as it was always my practice to do so.

"You need to come and get your bible, I borrowed".

I hung the phone up. I suppose I can go in and come out right away. Susan probably won't be happy.

Susan was fully dressed in a jogging suit. Nothing going on here, I thought to myself.

She pulled up her shirt just to scratch her stomach. I saw it and thought nothing of it at first.

Where's my bible?

Being careful, I did not want to give this any chance to grow into anything. I got up and walk toward the door. She said wait. She wrap herself around me and kissed me very passionately. I kissed back.

I am a man, you know.

I do like her.(a likely excuse)

What am I doing?

Jesus, what am I doing?

The phone ringed.

I heard her say, Okay.

Thank you Jesus!

Yes Lord!

I won't!

 She hung the phone up, looking at me very strangely.

What's wrong, I asked?

That was Prophetess Sister. She told me to stop what I was doing. God is not pleased. Prophetess Sister continued, I don't know what it means, but I was in prayer and your face came before me and I had to give you the message I received.

Susan reached and gave me my bible. I immediately left. As I got into my car, I ripped my leather coat on the steering wheel lock.

Looking up to heaven, I asked God why didn't you warn me?

Yes I know it was the wrong attitude. It was how I was feeling. I was angry at myself. I was embarrassed with myself. I was not purposely disobedient to Bishop Taliefero's warning, I allowed myself to just gloss over it by not actively thinking about it. I also knew that God spared me.

Lord, let me start again.

First of all, thank you Lord for saving me and Susan. Secondly, forgive me Lord. I had only intentions of getting my bible. I got caught up in emotions. I am sorry. I then started my car and pulled away in the below zero degree frigid weather.

I went home and sought the Lord. That night I vowed to never get in that circumstance again.

The next day after I got home from work Susan showed up at my door. I wasn't going to open the door for fear that I would get involved again. I watched from my window as she left and drove away. I refused to subject myself to that again. I just barely escaped by the hairs of my chinny chin chin.

We did talk a few days later. I asked her to forgive me. She asked me to forgive her.

She and I remained great friends.

I only tell this story so that others can avoid the pitfall that I found myself into that night. I was wrong and needed God's forgiveness. I allowed my vision to become blurred. I allow my mind to go into neutral state of not focusing on God's command.

 I kept the leather coat and never repaired it to serve as a reminder of this time in my life.

Deadly Arrows

"I don't want you anymore",

She was so resolute in her as a matter of fact demeanor. She rarely smiled. Always such a stern look on her face. I used to wonder if she sat in front of the mirror and practiced that look.

"I need you to go".

Okay, I am thoroughly confused.

My naiveté must have been showing like a beacon in the darkness of night. We were married, we shared the same bed.

Okay where am I going?

I sure didn't see that coming. Her eyes pierce through me even more than her words. She had to know I was caught off guard by her words like arrows custom made for my heart.

What's wrong? What did I do? How long have you known about this? She would not answer any of my questions. This was strange to me, because she always had an answer for everything.

"I want you to leave".

Was she trying to punish me for something I did or didn't do? For me, punishment from her was a constant occurrence. More times than not, I would ignore her anger.

Sure there were tumultuous times, but like knots on a string, we could work those things out. I am neither sad nor mad. I clearly do not know what's going on. She is reluctant to say anything that could bring me some sense of clarity. She was purposely trying to be vague.

I was 27 years old and I never experienced anything like this before. A few of my relatives warned me that this would happen. I was naive. I thought it would be like my parents marriage, in the course of time we would work things out.

We were two bible believing, church going, and clean living people. What we couldn't work out among ourselves, we could work it out at church. Again, so I believed. When I saw church folks backing away, as if to say, that's not our issue, I was stunned.

It didn't get better, it got worse. I begin to develop stomach problems.

My blood pressure begin to rise ever so slightly. This was the beginnings of my health issues.

I moved into a hotel which gave me time to work out some of my personal issues. Lord, now I was in the middle of many mental patients, alcoholics, drug abusers, prostitutes and pimps. During this time I prayed very fervently. I wasn't with my wife, but I grew better day by day. The pastor of the congregation began to put me to work.

"When you finish preaching go straight home, all by yourself. Do not entertain anybody. Let your words be few. This I tell you for your own survival".

His words seemed very strict to me. I knew he wasn't trying to stop my friendships and associations; he was extending to me wisdom that would carry me through this personal dilemma.

On some occasions I would see her. She would go out of her way to let me know she didn't want me back.

"I do not want to have anything to do with you. Stop trying to frequent the same places I go. You are going to walk upon something you won't like. We are over"!

Some knots should be left alone until time dictates. Her anger was not abated. She grew more resolute in her position.

Never will I say I was innocent in all of this. There's more than one side to every story. That is better left up to her story.

Now to the point at hand, I needed a God intervention. I needed relief and release. If we were going to reconcile, I needed to know. I needed to know if this was a mind game. If she wanted to call it quits, I needed to know.

Eventually it came up in the conversation, while she was on the phone with someone else.

How do you go so long without him?

It is the result that I will get.

They told me if I treat him bad, he will always cling to me.

So is that your plan to treat him bad?

Until I get the thing I want.

Girl that man won't let you control him and when he finds out, his anger will be out of control.

Now why did I have to hear that phone conversation? Actually I heard one side that day and the other side a awhile later.

I say that I was given the answer right then and there.

I was sad, but at peace.

Consider The Ant

Consider The Ant

 
#1

They handed her the doctor's report. You have 4th stage cancer. She kept tapping her fingers on the table, not saying a word. In her eyes was a blank gaze. She later told me all she could see was her own death. In her imagination, everybody gathered around her body crying. What was especially hard was seeing her baby who was now 30 years old crying...

#2

It was especially hard for him to breathe. He said it felt like ten tons of bricks on his chest. We had just lost another friend to congestive heart failure. After he was rushed to the hospital, he found out that he had an aneurysm explode in his heart. What kind of silliness is this, he pondered?

#3

Everything he wanted to eat, he ate in abundance. Sugar, fat, caffeine, everything. He never thought there would be a day of reckoning. He did what he wanted to women there without regrets. He now lies in a hospital bed with kidney liver and heart troubles.

Life is very serious. In Proverbs, the writer asks us to consider the ant. He makes provision for winter all summer long. He has no ruler or overseer. He works toward his goal of being prepared.

Youth is a deceiver. Good times and youthful resolve, lulls you into false comfortability.

Time is given by God as an allotment for choices regarding our future. We have instead wasted so much of it on the dictates of our flesh.

Do what feels good no matter how it hurts others. Do not consider the outcome that may indeed hurt others.

Do what feels good no matter how it affect our own body.

Live for the moment.

"I have time".

I have time...

This mindset is everything that the Enemy of God wants you to have.

The people in stories #1 and #2 came against me at work. They plotted my demise. They determined that they were going to get me fired. They set me up for failure on many occasions. They sabotaged my work. I couldn't figure out their reasons for doing so. They had good positions with good pay, but I became their target. They talked about me behind my back. They showed themselves wise when speaking to the bosses about my failures (their sabotages). I just kept working. I gave God praise while it was happening, but it was still stressful. Finally, they laughed at my defeats.

Is God punishing them concerning me?

No,

I don't think so. I don't think that they considered that all things will come into accountability unto God. Unlike the ant, they did not consider winter was coming.

Having gone through some health issues myself, knowing what it is to suffer, it is my responsibility to pray for them because winter comes for everybody.

The person in the third story ballooned up in excess of 400 pounds. He ate everything going and coming. He did not consider the effect of excess sugar, salt, fat and alcohol on his body. He never considered the effect of infidelity upon his mates. Being a minister he never considered his challenging of pastors in front of their flocks.

He never considered the traps that he set for others. Before his eyes, his body was aging. All he saw was 400 pounds of prime choice.

He never considered that winter was coming.

I now have these three on my prayer list to be prayed for in my time of prayer.

I pray because winter is coming and I must have the essentials of life stored for when spring or summer are ended.

My Son

My Son

McKinley Alexander-Caleb, born 11 years ago today. Mac was born with a smile. He was a very happy baby. His mother and I went through a very long and tedious 9 months. She and I both were very surprised to see him to be such a happy baby. He smiled more than he cried. As a toddler, Mac learned to wink. Mac loved winking at all females. Yes, he was quite the flirt.

His mother spent a lot of time with the children. She loved the movie, "The Color Purple". There was a scene where the children were being taught to read. She begins teaching my daughter to read and spell. Mac always listening and learning begins to learn the lessons as a three year old. He learned to spell three-hundred words by the time he was four years old. Upon entering his head-start class, he noticed the teachers' name plate. He ask the teacher if that was her name? She said yes.

B-e-e-c-h-e-r "Beecher", he said. Your name is Beecher.

He blew the socks off of every adult in the room. Needless to say, he became the teachers' favorite. For a couple of years, In second and third grade he and my daughter placed first and second place in the entire school in the spelling bee.

Mac until this day remains a very happy child. I always tell him how great he is right now, and how great he will be in the future. I bless his existence. I confirm his existence. I speak life into his existence. I will never tell him anything less. He is a gifted child. He was born to stand before kings and dignitaries. I remind him of his life's calling. It will never be one that I chose for him, but as he was anointed from a baby to be. He is my child. He is born of my flesh and blood. He will carry on where I leave off. I will never leave him without hope of a brighter today and tomorrow.

 I will never leave him without the knowledge that his father believes in him.

My Daughter

Today I had a talk with my 12 year old daughter. She told me some of the problems she was having. I have never talked down to her, or in a manner that was considered baby talk. She has always spoken to me as an older person.

The children of today are very smart. They know when you are speaking down to them. There are too many television shows that speak on a level that is far superior to that of child talk. Maybe in the past you could get away with it, but not anymore .I teach her to speak on the of level of an adult, but remain respectful as a child.

Today we spoke on family matters, no not the old television show, but what all matters as growing up. She told me some things I had to listen before I responded. We got through the conversation without playing the blame game.

At the end of every conversation, I always tell her how great she is right now, and how great she will be in the future. I bless her existence. I confirm her existence. I speak life into her existence. I will never tell her anything less. She is a gifted child. She was born to stand before kings and dignitaries. I remind her of her life's calling. It will never one that I chose for her, but as she was anointed from a baby to be. She is my child. She is born of my flesh and blood. She will carry on where I leave off. I will never leave her without hope of a brighter today and tomorrow.

 I will never leave her without the knowledge that her father believes in her.              

Life Is Not A Game of Chance

On my traveling home from work in my car, two little girls perhaps of Junior High School age, ran across the street in front of my car. I hit the brake just in time. All I could see was me hitting them with my car. They laughed as if they were playing the squirrel game, "let's play beat the car". Immediately my eyes teared-up out of anger and sadness. It could have gotten bad in inches and seconds. Passing them by, they gave me that stupid look, we beat you".

Father I thank you that you spared the life of these two little girls. I pray that you teach them to be wise. I pray that you give them discernment. Bring them into the knowledge that you spared them. IJN, I pray, amen!

The Stories

I come from a family of storytellers. They always told their stories of growing up in the south during "The Great Depression". Every holiday when we would come together, after the meet and greet, after the great spread of soul food featuring everyone's special dish, after all the food was consumed and the dishes were cleaned, came story time. Someone would start off telling the story with that reminds me of the time with Uncle Brother...

Uncle Brother could not be out done, he would tell his side with his slant. Oh the laughter that followed. Aunt Jean would start her story and the same thing would follow. Whoever was the object would tell it from their slant and the laughter would go on and on. The stories would go on and on until all six siblings told their funny story.

Melvira was the oldest and the trailblazer. Jean was the fighter and defender. My mother Fredna, was the soft-spoken one, Ethel was the baby girl. William was the oldest son, mostly quiet at times, but very particular about everything. Wilbert also known as Brother, the baby, was known for his mischievous personality. Melvira also had a baby named Mary John-Ann, who became the baby of the family. Growing up I the south meant, love and family.

All the children of the brothers and sisters knew the stories.

These stories are passed down to us. No one is really telling the old stories anymore since all of the brothers and sisters are gone.

I have taken on the tradition of storytelling now. I am still learning to write and the process of writing, and telling many stories of my own. I discovered that my children really love to hear them. I will do my best to keep the tradition going.

 Thus we have Lunchbox Stories
  

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What I Learned From Knots

Untying Knots

I remember as a four year old child my mother saw that I was able to untie knots. So she would tie strings into knots to see if I could untie them. I quickly learned which part of the knot would slip first and which part would loosen first. For a long time looking back on this, I thought of it as mean spirited. I also thought maybe it would just give her a kick just to observe me do it.

When my daughter was about 2 years old, I could give her a package that was very hard for an adult to open. She would look at it. She would bang it on the floor. In about 5 minutes or less she would have the package open. I don't know if I was getting a kick out of seeing her successfully open the package or I was totally amazed at the ingenuity of a child.

About a year ago my friend was talking to my cousin, and my cousin gave my friend the key to my childhood personality and why my mother did some of the things she did. So I call my cousin who grew under the tutelage of my mother. My cousin said that my mother knew the difference between the personalities of my brother and I. We both had inquiring minds and it was very hard to keep us still. We were always exploring. Mother began giving us problems to solve sometimes to keep us occupied and sometimes to see if we could solve them. For me, no matter what problem she gave me I could solve it very quickly. She was always amazed at my ingenuity also. For many years a string of knots was my problem to solve.

In my adult life I have been given many knots to untie, philosophically of course. None the less, I don't know if I have solved them like the knots my mother used to give me.

I still strive every day to be what God would have me to be,  even if it means I still have to untie knots.