No More Shut Doors

"Visualize this...

I visualized myself sitting on a stool on a stage holding a guitar or even sitting at a piano with my head slightly tilted up. I would sing and, out of my mouth springing forth melodious notes of many themes. I imagined this being the way to bring my gift to the masses, and to bring financial freedom to my family. I dreamed of a day that many artists would sing my written songs. I dreamed, I dreamed, I dreamed...

I met and "fell" in love with a beautiful young lady who gravitated to my side so quickly, even I was so amazed. I hadn't had so many girlfriends in life because I was married to my music. They all understood that I was going to spend a considerable amount of time with my craft. I made that clear from the beginning of every relationship.

We shall call her Sallie.

Sallie had a very savvy business sense. She could take on any business situation and steer it to its success. She could negotiate a contract as if she was an accomplished contract lawyer. Business was not my forte, it was hers. Creativity was my strong suit.

After a year of courting, we got married. Marriage was agreeable with us, or so I thought. I noticed for the first time she liked to fight aggressively and then play the roll of victim, even at times she would go for the total kill, figuratively of course. I never fought a girl in my life and I really never had the reason to fight this one. While I understood arguing for position, I never understood why couples had to fight. All I ever wanted to do was just to love Sallie. Sallie began to become more violent and withdrawn as the days went by. She would coerce me into situations I have never been in my whole life.

Finally one day she finally said it. The thing I most dreaded hearing. "You might as well put an end to this music thing. It’s not working for me. You are my husband and you are going to get a regular job. This crazy to me, because I was working a regular job.

>>>>>I could still hear the music of my dreams calling me. It was saying to me to press forward past the words of another's inward anger of past failed relationships>>>>

She now was in full mode of total annihilation of my dreams. She went to my music equipment and threw things on the floor.

After 2 or 3 years of this I couldn't take it anymore. My family said I was a fool. Her family looked upon me as foolish. I just gave up on my dreams. I thought that this would make her happy, but no it got worse. When I was changed into what she wanted and its not who she met, she became dissatisfied with what I became.

The game "I can change  

You have to love the one you're with. You've got to be in love with who they are. You cannot kill their dreams. You cannot destroy their aspirations. When one has dreams, they bank everything they are upon it. It is their total personality. It is what they have become in years of building their being.

I am a shell of what I am, totally devoid of my sanguine personality I once possessed. A zombie, I was the living dead. This is also the time my blood pressure began to rise and I began to have stomach problems.

Two are at fault, the one who did it and the one who allowed it to happen.

Why did you allow it to happen?

Two reasons:

1. I didn't believe in walking away.

2. I thought maybe I was being ridiculous for having a dream that could possibly fail.

I let her kill my dreams I allowed it to happen. I let her convince me that my dreams were not worth pursuing.

After 18 years, I have recommitted to my dreams. This round, I will not allow anyone tell me to stop pursuing the thing I was created to do.

If someone cannot see my dreams, than they cannot be a part of my dreams.

The difference between now and then is not just the age factor, but I have entrusted things in the hands of the Lord.

Set before me is many doors. When one closes another one opens.